Borders in Diaconal Ministry

I am borrowing a term from a Deacon Dave Plevak of my home diocese when I say “borders”.  He gave an excellent talk to us several months ago about protecting yourself from burnout in ministry by establishing good borders.  

This morning I met with my bishop, and interestingly, he too talked of protecting one’s marriage and personal life from constant infringement that can occur in diaconal ministry.  Although he didn’t use the term, he was talking about “borders”.

It seems to me that married deacons are especially adept at maintaining boundaries, moving from one side to the other as required or needed.  At least deacons happily and fruitfully living out their vocations. Perhaps that comes from necessity; perhaps from our experiences in the professional world that most of us have lived and thrived in for so many years before ordination.  Perhaps it comes with the graces of sacramental marriage.  Quite frankly, I think the biggest contributor to our ability to do this is our wives. They seem to be able to identify border crossings quickly and accurately.

One thing that does not seem to have been studied with any rigor is how God speaks through the wives of deacons.  How in other words, diaconal spirituality is dovetailed into marital spirituality.  Most of what seems to have been written is couched overly theological, churchy language.  Perhaps our wives are a key medium through which our diaconal call comes, and is sustained.  Each deacon certainly knows how this is true in his personal situation. It would be interesting to study it on a national level.  Better yet, on an international level.

“Borders” is a good term.  Another way of discerning just what God may be calling us to at any given time of our lives. A portal through which our wives participate in our vocations.  A brush by which we, as Icons of Jesus the Servant, are brought into sharper focus for the People of God.