27th Sunday in Ordinary Time, Cycle B
October 5/6, 2024
Gen 2:18-24; Heb 2:9-11; Mk 10:2-16
It was April of 1977, and I was sitting at the reception desk at Kelly Hall at what was then St. Mary’s College, my alma mater. I was pouring over my notes on metaphysics, which was an upper level philosophy course I had been taking. Metaphysics deals with the first principles of things, being, substance, cause, and space. It is very abstract. An elderly priest approached me and asked what I was studying. “Metaphysics,” I told him. He then looked at me and said, “Young man, remember one thing. Do not let anything or anyone confuse you about this. What is, is, and what is not, is not.” Yes, what is, exists, and what is not, doesn’t exist. I have never forgotten the face of that priest, and I never have forgotten his simple wisdom. It has served me well in life.
Today’s readings are all about marriage. In some ways, I may not be very credible when it comes to marriage, but I did spend 38 years as a marriage therapist, during which time I heard it all. I was married for 42 years. I experienced the highs and lows of married life. I experienced how much God loves marriage and how He blesses it in every way possible. I also experienced how Satan hates marriage and those in it, and how he attacks it viciously. Now, I am just a celibate deacon and will remain so the rest of my life, seeking new ways of living and loving and serving God’s people. When I was ordained in 2009, Holy Orders and Matrimony became for me a fully integrated vocation. They were distinct, yet inseparably united. They were two lungs breathing life into me. For me, there was no confusion. Both were the answer to the questions, “Who am I? and, “What am I to do?” There was no division between the two sacraments. I had no need to rewrite the truth of Marriage or Holy Orders. I accepted them both as they are.
My friends, more and more people are confused about marriage, and, frankly, about Holy Orders, but I will talk only about marriage today. The reason, I think, for the confusion is people are confused about themselves. They are unsure who they are and what they are to do in life which spills over into uncertainty about marriage. They are unsure of themselves and so they live in a great and painful uncertainty. This is causing so much division, so much division, in the world, in the Church, in our families, and yes within each of us, so much so that many are thinking they need to redefine what marriage is.
What is, is, and what is not, is not. What is marriage? God’s Word, which we have just heard, is clear. It is the indissoluble union of one man and one women who freely and totally vow to give themselves to each other until death. It is the union of two bodies, the union of two hearts, and the union of two minds. It is the sharing of a home and children. Marriage is the primordial sacrament. It existed from the time of Adam in the beginning, before the fall, before the seven sacraments we now know. It is rooted in our very nature as men and as women. It exists by God’s design, not ours, and it is expressed in human nature. Marriage is not what it cannot be, such as the union of two men or two women or a relationship of a human and something else in creation. Such relationships do exist, as is so evident in our society now, but those relationships are something other than marriage, and cannot be marriage, no matter how much we may want them to be. Those in such relationships are searching for a way of understanding themselves and the world, and they take what is known to them (marriage) and lay claim to it and apply it to their situation, doing themselves great harm, rather than undertaking what is of vital importance to them, and what would be of great service to us all if it were undertaken, i.e., to better understand who they are, what is their vocation, and the meaning in their lives in the light of God’s design for them and the world. Rather than take what is (their relationship) and try to make it what it is not (marriage) if they would only ask the deeper questions about God, themselves, and the importance of their lives and their God-given vocation.
I don’t think anyone needs to ask these deeper question alone. There are resources and people available to assist them. I heartily recommend Courage as one of those resources. It is a solidly Catholic apostolate available to anyone willing to undertake those deeper questions. If you want to know more about it, talk to me.
You know, back in April of 1977, I went in for that metaphysics final examination. I aced it. I got my degree in philosophy. Although I cannot credit that elderly priest for my degree, I do credit him with giving me needed and helpful advice that cut through not only the speculation of metaphysics, but also the uncertainties of life.
May we all grow into a deeper understanding of ourselves, our lives, and marriage. For all of you who are called to the vocation of marriage, may you experience its joys and many blessings. For all called to other vocations, know that God loves you, and the life He has given you is an expression of that love, and He has a beautiful plan for you.
